A Dream; Justice

ONE OF THOSE METAPHORS

My brother told me this morning that he dreamed about me falling into a pit.

"It's true," I thought.

"I did fall into a pit."

I find no desperate hunger for God's glory within me, but shameful passions. Passions that mesmerize me, deceive me, and leave me feeling like I'm going to implode with emptiness and shame and despair.

But I will get out of this pit. I know it.

Not because I can climb out, but because a rope will be lowered down.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 
    He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
    He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
    for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
    I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
    your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows. 
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.
(Psalm 23)


* * * * *

JUSTICE

A definition of the word that I have in my mind is: "Giving to each person what he is worthy of".

Justice is to give somebody what he deserves.

I find that, to me, this completely beats out the notion that oh, God is so vain, so narcissistic, and so selfish that everything is supposed to be about Him, and humans have to suffer so much while He sits all high and haughty on His comfy throne.

No, God is just. He commands worship because He is worthy of it, He deserves it. This is justice. This is fair.

What about man? Well, man never deserved anything. We never deserved the joy of worship in the first place, and so even less do we deserve salvation, and yet God offers it to us.

And it throws so much guilt on me to think about what God deserves from me. He doesn't deserve the kind of treatment that I give Him. He deserves every second of my life, every drop of my blood. It is a disgrace to put Him on another side of the scale in comparison to some sin, and in the end still choose to sin. It is a terrible injustice deserving of hellfire.

In contemplation of this, I see Your great mercy for me, that you have not slain me in my pride. Guide me that I may be able to imitate the justice of Christ.