Monday, July 3, 2017

A Journal Entry from Finals Week

REORIENTING

May 2, 2017

What do I want from you?

I want a meaningful life. This desire has driven me in two different directions: in the direction of work, and in the direction of relationships.

I often realize that I need both, but cannot have both as fully as I want to. When I put effort into work, I wonder, "Who is this for?" When I put effort into relationships, I ask: "What are we for?"

But either of these are but a glimpse of the true Meaning I seek. You, Lord, are that meaning, that purpose, that end. And I want to hear you speak to me again.

Oh, God, please talk to me. I need to hear your voice explain my life. I need your words to organize my chaos, just as your words organized the cosmos at the beginning of all things. I need you. Where did you go? Did I do something wrong?

Remember my affliction and my wanderings,
    the wormwood and the gall!
My soul continually remembers it
    and is bowed down within me.
But this I call to mind,
    and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
    his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
(Lamentations 3:19-23)