One day, I felt a sudden urge to check out my past YouTube channel, the one I used when I was much younger. And then I remembered something else.
Four years ago, on this very same date, the fifteen-year-old Joshua posted a farewell message on an online forum where he had spent two years of his life. I had completely forgotten about the experience until I recently saw that post again. It provided a window into my past, by which I could vividly recall what life was like for me in my early teens.
I'm very touched by what I wrote. I had purposefully forgotten the sentiments of those years, but now, as an awakened Christian, I see it as a memory worthy of keeping. Some days, those were.
The bittersweet vacuum these memories left in my heart will keep me ever pursuing for something of greater glory.
Goodbye, Maple Story. Goodbye again.
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Farewell!
by Egami on Fri May 13, 2011 12:52 pmIt's hard to put into words what I feel right now, so if you don't understand, that's fine. I'll try though.
I remember I was like 10 or 11 when I started playing Maple. Then I came across Dray's videos, got inspired, and started making videos with Fraps. When I think of those times, those nights where I would creep out of bed and play Maple in the darkness... I get mixed feelings. I feel regretful and nostalgic at the same time. Regretful that I wasted so much time over a game. But nostalgic, because I remember how it felt to be in love with the game, to be consumed, enchanted, spellbound by an epic adventure, although it was fake. And the other players, my buddies, were the highlight of my then boring life.
I remember one of those nights, during which I asked myself a question. Will I be playing when I'm 20? Will I ever quit Maple? What if I actually do reach level 200? Will I get bored? I remember I was a little afraid of that question. Afraid of getting bored of the adventure. Being forced to realize there's nothing more after level 200. Fearfully, I stowed the question away in the darkness of my subconscious. But now as I look back, I feel a little pity for young Egami: his fear came true. My love for Maple ended.
Then something new caught my attention, that was animation with Maple Story sprites, and the forums in which the other animators reside. I was thrilled that so many awesome people existed. And so I started another incredible journey that would last for 2-3 years. First it was MTV, then Mapleology. Had a little fun at BSBG and a few other forums, but Mapleology was always my "main forum". I remember we even had a groupchat on MSN, and we would talk about random stuff (of course, I was rarely noticed, so I probably won't include myself in the "we"). Those were great times, honestly, and when the idea that this forum would die sooner or later was raised, I was scared. Scared that you people would start leaving one by one, and I would be truly alone. It was a similar fear to when I wondered if I would quit Maple.
That fear came true as well. But the materialization of it was a little different than what I expected. Because I was one of the people who left. And it's not because you guys are a bore, but because I'M a bore, and I'm sure at least some of you agree with this statement secretly. As a result I was never really in the inner circle of the group. Still, that didn't stop me from being so very fond of you people. You can't imagine how many times I've praised the Mapleologists to other people. The maturity, the kindness, the humor of the Mapleologists.
But it's like friendship with someone overseas. You really, truly like that person, but there are other friends you meet everyday in person, and so the relationship is gradually forgotten. It's like that for me. I started to have new friends, and I started to drift away from Mapleology. But unlike how I feel about playing Maple, I don't feel the slightest twinge of regret. Because you people have changed me so much during those times. I'm leaving you guys now, but small portions of you that have rubbed off on me will be part of me forever.
A part of Richard, a part of Cham, a part of Brock, a part of Lilly, a part of Chrissy, a part of Miya, a part of Jak, a part of Bella, a part of Paul (I guess...?), a part of Herm, a part of Vicky, and parts of other people whom I've left out because I've been inactive for so freaking long. But if you're one of the people who've had conversations with me, you deserve to be on this list. Because of you, I am forever changed, and forever grateful. Thank you all for correcting me, for praising me, for teaching me, and for accompanying me when I would've been a lonely homeschooler.
Thank you all, and God bless you.
I won't say farewell yet, since being the person I am, I would definitely come back and check on this thread to see if there's any posts I need to respond to.
And if you didn't understand a thing, I'm sorry, I'm not particularly good at expressing my emotions. Also, if anyone thinks I'm being dramatic, I'm not, that was how strongly I felt about everything I said, k? Don't laugh at me .D.
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If anybody's curious as to what kind of animations I used to make:
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A link to an article I'd like to put here for future reference, so to help me remember the adventure:
https://theophay.wordpress.com/2015/05/13/11-things-we-probably-miss-from-the-old-maplestory/
