Patience

PATIENCE

Solving a problem takes time.

I probably discussed this before. But, again, it takes time for me to grasp it more and more in measure.

It is only natural that the sin I've spent my whole life building up would take some time to overcome. I have to reap what I sow. If I've developed an ugly temper problem over the course of fifty years, I would likely have a much harder time dealing with it than would a person who only let it grow for five.

I'm appalled at how kiddish I am. Still the "I want it now!" kind of mentality, even when it comes to asking God for things. Oh gosh.

Sure, I'm not man enough. Sure, I'm not observant enough. Sure, I'm not vulnerable enough in relationships. I don't love God's Word enough. I'm not prayerful. Not humble. Not honest. Not brave.

But Rome wasn't built in a day.

Sometimes I speak about my past proudly. I tell people I've played games late into the night, and that I could've been in university by now if I didn't laze about with my work. Although partly my intention is to tell them I regret it, I also say it in a way that contrasts my past with my current condition, making it seem like those nights didn't really have very far-reaching consequences.

They did. I have to face that. It's simply a fact.

I have to believe in Christ rather than the waves. I messed up. But Christ didn't. I keep messing up. But Christ, at the right hand of the Father, does not.

Patience, my dear. Try to read the Bible, and don't lose hope in it. Try to pray, and don't lose hope in it. Don't lose hope the next time you mess up. Try harder. Sit down, and write down to yourself what you can do about it, and what to thank God for taking care of on your behalf.

Yes, you are really imperfect. You're terrible. Your continuous failures prove that. Which is why it's important for you to try harder to surrender to God, to soften your stiff neck. Your depravity is why you need grace. Lots and lots of it. No, I'm not opening the gateway to antinomianism, just a powerful motivation for a godly life.

And you. You don't want to wait upon the Lord because you hope for too little. The reason it takes so much time is because it is so precious. Doesn't that make sense? Isn't God's glory worth it? What God intends to give you is greater than what you expect. Don't you know that from experience already?

Sit down. Write. Solve problems. Rationalize. Strategize. Try again. Be a warrior. A warrior has no time to be weepy and wimpy over lost battles. There is more at stake. The glory of God is a worthy thing to fight for. Fighting for it is a reward in itself.

I'm called to be a man. There is power in the calling.

Trust Him. Patience.