At first, I expected this to be a single blog post. But because of the bulk of material I accumulated over time, I will have to do it in several blog posts. Turns out, the subject wasn't as simplistic as I first thought it would be.
Ever since my experience at national service, I felt a need to fight. I felt like I'm too relaxed, specifically with regards to diligence in my faith.
Perhaps I also felt a deep lack of masculinity in myself which I wanted to somehow make up for. I know that men are created to be courageous fighters, but even from my childhood, I never really saw the shame of crying and running away. But slowly I realized that the calling to be a man was not one I could just turn away. It was a divine calling. I had to fight, somehow, against the things I was most afraid of.
I was always a coward. I still am, though I'm trying hard not to be. In Christ, I know that I am called to a spiritual kind of fearlessness. By thinking on this subject, and writing about it, I hope to claim this courage.
I write this series of blog posts, first and foremost, for myself.
Secondly, I write for my brothers and sisters in the faith. This is for you all. Don't give up.
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear."
—Ambrose Redmoon
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THE WORLD, THE FLESH, THE DEVIL, THE GRAVE
Dear friend,
A Christian is a person who is set apart from the world, and has no love for it. A Christian lives in the Spirit, not according to the flesh. A Christian wages war against the devil and his demonic influences. And a Christian follows Jesus in His footsteps, all the way to the grave.
Does that describe you? Let's examine it in a little more detail.
Are you a person who is set apart from the world?
Do you love the things in the world—the desires of the flesh, the desires of the eyes, and the pride of life?
Do you spend an excessive amount of time, energy, or money on things like food, clothing, entertainment, or more money?
Do you often think about how to fit in, how to impress your friends, or how to attract the opposite gender? Do you indulge in sinful sexual gratification?
Do you indulge in pride and narcissism? Do you find it enjoyable to think of yourself as intelligent, strong, beautiful, wealthy, interesting, or even pious or humble?
These are the things of the world, my friend, and if you love these things, the love of the Father is not in you. Instead of finding your joy in the Lord, you take pleasure in the lusts of the flesh and of the eyes. Instead of glorifying God and boasting Him, you are inclined to prove how capable or how good you are.
I mean, really, think about it; how often is God your boast? Does your heart overflow with praise for Him? Do you feel more excited when you worship God or when you do the things you love, like playing sports or shopping?
Perhaps you know of these faults, and they probably don't even bother you, because you think, "Yes, I know that these are my sins, but the Holy Spirit convicts me from time to time, so I know I'm safe in the care of God." What an irresponsible, nonchalant way to think about your sin. We're talking about sin here; we're talking about cosmic treason. Do you think God has any amount tolerance for any of your "small sins"? And yet you feel quite comfortable with your "weakness".
Even unbelievers occasionally feel pangs of guilt because of their moral consciences. Maybe you're just a person like them who feels guilty at times, yet deceives yourself by calling it "the Holy Spirit's conviction." Because if it is the Spirit's conviction, why is so hard for you to change? Why do you persist in loving some things of the world, instead of cutting them off? Do you think the work of the Spirit is something that's so powerless?
"But deep inside my heart, I know that I really love God and believe in Him!" Do you really? Let's examine that.
Are you a person of the Spirit or of the flesh?
The works of the flesh are evident: impurity, sensuality, idolatry, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, drunkenness, and things like these.
Well, then, are you pure of heart? Do you lust after the opposite sex? Do you regard some people so highly that you don't give glory to God? Do you become jealous when you see somebody better than you? Do you get mad easily? Do you often gossip about the people you despise? Are you frequently going about life without vigilance, drunk with the pleasures of life's moments, refusing to set your mind on the things of God?
On the other hand, can you honestly tell me that your heart is filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control? Does that describe you?
Judge for yourself.
Maybe you still take comfort in the fact that you had repented in the past, or that you still do good works today. But even that is meaningless, because you may simply be a hypocrite. Don't you often feel that? Don't you often feel fake? You know it, you know that very often your spiritual talk and your outward piety is just a cover-up, a facade. You return home from church, and you're a different person altogether, aren't you? You know what that is? That's hypocrisy.
A hypocrite is willing to change his behavior to some extent, but doesn't really have a change of heart. Therefore, a hypocrite struggles with addictions and hidden desires and narcissism. He feels guilty when he sometimes goes too far with his sin, but when the sin is safe to commit without dire consequences, he goes ahead without remorse.
And a hypocrite changes his behavior as far as it doesn't require too much sacrifice on his part. He is willing to go through a fair exchange, but sacrifice? No, no. I would willingly exchange my porn for a feeling of dignity and purity. I would do ministry in order to appear religious and godly. I would believe in God so that He'd let me into heaven. But I'm not willing to lay down everything, I mean... pfft, you've gotta leave some for yourself, no?
That's your attitude, isn't it? If so, you are of the flesh, and are a hypocrite to boot.
Are you a person who battles against the devil?
Being aware of demonic schemes, do you do all that you can to live a holy life, so not to bring dishonor on God's name? Do you go the extra mile to help your brothers and sisters in Christ to resist temptations and overcome trials? How much do you even care about the souls that are being deceived at this very moment, and are going to hell? What are you doing about it? Or are your efforts feeble and halfhearted?
Or perhaps you're not even very aware of the things that evil spiritual forces are doing in this world. But in that case, how could you be so ignorant? You, a Christian, should be of all people most alert to the works of demons, because you know of the terror of an eternity in hell, and you know of the way God's name is being blasphemed in the world.
You know that fallen angels are doing all that they can to drag men into hell and bring dishonor on God's name. All the while, do you just kick back and relax, thinking that everything's fine, and that what's going on in the world is "natural"? Is that how a Christian thinks?
Why don't you fight these things with all your might? Why don't you study the word of God with diligence in order to battle the lies of demons? What are you doing with your life?
How much do you pray for God to give you victory over the devil's schemes? How much do you pray for your brothers and sisters to overcome temptations? And if you don't seem to care about these things at all, I can't imagine how you could even call yourself a Christian. You don't even care!
In fact, a lot of the time you probably even listen to the devil's lies. For example, you often believe the lie that God is someone who can be messed with, that you can commit sin and He will simply forgive you. And you've not only done that once or twice, but countless times. Not only you're not fighting against the devil, but you're helping him to dishonor God! Tell me, how can that be explained? Unless, of course, your true father is the devil, not God.
Oh, sure, you're willing to do some things, some good things, but you're never willing to go all the way for God, and it shows. You can't fake it.
You're not willing to wrestle with your hidden sins. You're not willing to do all you can to remove your pride and your temper. You're not willing to speak the hard truth among the people of the world. And the deeper reason behind your lack of commitment is your rejection of Christ. Which leads me to my last question.
Are you a person who follows Jesus all the way to the grave?
You know what Jesus said about those who are worthy to be his disciples. They must take up their cross and die to themselves. Do you even understand the weight of that? Do you understand what that means, how much it actually costs you?
People generally want to delay death, so to indulge in the enjoyments of this life for as long as they can. But Christians have no such option. To believe in Christ is to die with Christ. And that means giving up on the things of the earth for the things of eternity.
Are you ready to take the full power of death head on? Are you ready to give up on the things that death corrupts and rots away? Are you willing to give up on your worldly popularity? Are you willing to give up on your external appearance? Your money? Your dreams? Your security? Would you be persecuted physically or emotionally for the sake of the gospel? Would you be seen as the fools and weaklings in the world? Can you really take that?
Do you say yes and amen? And if so, do you do accordingly? Or are empty words all that you have? Again, if you say that you are willing, but still cling onto the world, gratify the flesh, and make peace with the devil, and you are but a hypocrite. Oh yes, you can muster your willpower today, and promise yourself that you will set things right, but how many times have you done that? And yet you didn't really change. What makes you think this time will be any special?
Admit it: you don't really love God the way you think you do. You don't really love God the way He should be loved. You have a ton of excuses, but the real reason is because you don't want to. Remember, sin is a choice, and you've made yours quite clear by the frequency of your sinning.
You're just cunningly trying to get the best of both worlds, by enjoying life now and by pretending that you're fit for heaven, even though you're stuck in your endless cycles of sinful indulgence and false repentance. Deep down inside, you really are selfish.
And how long has this gone on? Months? Years? And yet you still go to church and think that God loves you somehow. The truth is He hates you to the bone. He hates your singing that comes from an empty, praise-less heart, just as He hated the offerings of the falsely religious Israelites.
You come to his house and receive his blessings, you receive the knowledge of salvation, and yet you live in the flesh, repeatedly refusing to repent. After all that you've learned, after all the years, your spiritual growth is still stunted. You haven't become much more holy, loving, self-controlled, sincere, brave. He has given you countless chances, and you've repeatedly turned them down.
There is truly nothing one can say to someone who is so hardened, who is so confident in his self-righteousness that he couldn't truly feel sorry for his sins. Perhaps you've even read my entire letter and are still confident that I'm not really talking about you. Well, that only proves how self-satisfied you are, that you'd even lower God's holy standards to make yourself righteous. You're like the Pharisee who's become so deeply indulged in his legalism, his good works, that he cannot see the terrible sinfulness of his hidden sins.
Don't you see, my friend, why you've been failing recently? Don't you see why your spiritual life has been so dull and lifeless and fake? God's Spirit has left you, just like He left King Saul. And now, there is nothing for you to look forward to but the dread of coming judgment.
Face the truth. You're clearly not a Christian, and the Holy Spirit is obviously not in you to change you. You are sinning deliberately.
You will have no victory over the world, the flesh, and the devil without the Spirit of God. But see how you enraged Him by trampling on the blood of Christ so casually. I'm sorry, but you've missed your chance a long time ago. The Spirit allowed you to be deluded in your false religion, but all you have now is an empty shell. You can keep it if you want, but it'll be no use for you.
It's too late to make a change of heart. Only God can change the heart, but you deliberately hardened it. Remember the countless times when God's word seemed to call you to repent and obey Him in a certain moment, but you pushed His voice out of your mind and went ahead with your sin? Now it's your fault that you've pushed the Spirit out of your heart, and you will bear your own consequences. It's not God's fault. It's your fault that your heart is hardened beyond repair.
On that day, you will stand before God, and He will inquire of your faithlessness. Perhaps you'll argue and talk about all the things you've supposedly done for Him, but He will only tell you to depart from Him, because He never knew you. Then in a dreadful moment, you'd realize that what you thought to be your assurance of salvation for your whole life was just an illusion, a lie. And that regret will carry on for eternity.
And you deserve it, O wicked person.
- The Accuser
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