Thursday, December 12, 2013

The Eyes of God

GOD'S HOLY GAZE

"One way to avoid God's eyes is to live as if fear of other people is our deepest problem—they are big, not God. This, of course, is not the case. Fear of people is often a more conscious version of being afraid of God. That is, we are more conscious of our fear of others than our fear of God. Granted, fear of others is a real phenomenon. We really are afraid of the thoughts, opinions, and actions of other people. But under that we hide as best we can the more desperate fear of God."
― Edward T. Welch, When People are Big and God is Small

We would likely be driven crazy if we truly knew the extent to which God sees our heart.

Today, after spending the morning listening to theology classes on MP3, the six of us went out for lunch. In the car, we took a strange interest in particularly observing one of our sisters, whose mannerisms we found amusing due to their rigidity. At some point, she chuckled uncomfortably and told us to stop looking at her. I asked her whether being looked at makes her feel uncomfortable, to which she replied yes.

Sharing her temperament to some extent, I understood. I used to try to evade society like it was the plague. There was a tense discomfort when people looked at me, or even worse, observed me.

That small moment reminded me again of this interesting topic: seeing.

On a political level, visibility is crucial. The amount of insight another nation has into your nation determines your vulnerability to it. During wars, huge amounts of money are spent on spy projects in order to uncover secrets, to gain the upper hand in the game of vision.

On a personal level, all introverts know that the act of seeing can be very violent, which is why they shy away from it at all.

Perception is followed by judgment. That is inevitable. Seeing anything, one must make a moral and value judgment upon it, no matter what. One might not say what he thinks about something, but the truth is that he does think something about it. And thinking something about something leads to action, or the lack of it.

As sinners, we know that we cannot stand being scrutinized. The nature of sin requires the man to be blind and deceived about who he really is in order for him to live comfortably. Being exposed will destroy him. We can only live in darkness, and are afraid to step into the light.

The God's judgment of mankind is based upon His vision of him. That's why the Bible states that men would rather have mountains crush them than let God see them when He comes to judge. Because the act of seeing is the beginning of judgment.

That is why it is a wonder why the eyes that saw all my depravity and rebellion also looked upon me with compassion and wept on my behalf. What kind of love is that?

We all, at one point or another, deeply desire for someone to look into our eyes with understanding, hold us, and assure us that we are acceptable. And yet, all along, there was this Christ, who looked upon me with more understanding about me than I'd like Him to have, saw all that I truly was, how completely unacceptable I am, and said to me, "I do not condemn you. Sin no more."

The One I hated, betrayed, fought against with all my being, let me off the hook and hung Himself there.

If there's anything that drives you crazy more than your sin being exposed before God, it's seeing those sins put upon Christ and you going free. It crucifies you, killing you, and rebirths you into a love-powered super soldier.

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